What's The Best Summer Blockbuster?
+ the definitive 2024 tier list
First: I was in Philadelphia a few weeks ago to cover BlackStar, a film festival that celebrates global Black and Brown cinema. I wrote about what you need to add to your to-watch list immediately.
Second: Last year’s summer movie season wasn’t a fluke. Those dark pandemic years of middling releases are over, and when I sat down to rank what has come out, I realized quickly that a simple numerical countdown wouldn’t work. Picking “the best” is for award seasons. The perfect summer blockbuster is not necessarily a perfect, or even a technically “good” “movie.” The perfect summer blockbuster is a movie that succeeds in a packed, icy-cold theater on a blistering summer day, and not necessarily anywhere else.
So instead of giving numbers, I’ll be using the Internet-honed tier ranking system, with the S-tier reserved for the capital-S Summer movies, the D-tier for the miserable failures I regret spending time on, and everything else in between. Noticeably excluded from this list are two very buzzy movies I caught about four tortuous minutes of while wandering around the multiplex: Deadpool & Wolverine and It Ends With Us. I have better things to do than finance a plantation vow renewal between a Canadian and someone who once lost a Teen Choice Best Actress Award to Emma Watson. To the list!
What’s the Best Summer Blockbuster?
Trap (M. Night Shyamalan, in theaters)
At some point I’ll do a Shyamalan analysis similar to the one I did for Chris Nolan but until then, let me just say that Deeper is a pro-M. Night newsletter. I adore his irony-free dialogue, his penchant earnestness, his complete disinterest in smarm, coyness, or subtlety. You know I’m going to eat this in like five bites, right? Josh Hartnett’s Butcher says mockingly to his wife over homemade pie (a genius Alison Pill). Trap is a similarly enticing slice.
Verdict: As the poster promises, this is not a movie but an “experience.” Automatic S.
Twisters (Lee Isaac Chung, in theaters)
In 4DX, Twisters is a two-hour carnival ride, punctuated by bizarre live-action cutscenes which are made all the more lifeless by Daisy Edgar Jones’ uncannily dead eyes. As much as I enjoy seeing Chung (Minari) cast his loving gaze on amber waves of grain, I can’t imagine the point of watching this if you weren’t getting violently ragdolled in an electronic seat.
Verdict: S in 4DX, D in standard.
Alien: Romulus (Fede Álvarez, in theaters)
It has been 38 years since there was a good entry in the Alien franchise. Why give up now, asks horror director Álvarez with this shockingly rousing success. The story of six young drifters searching for a viable future is a thrilling good time, adding some welcome new developments while retaining the core themes of the franchise: the unrelenting grind of the capitalist machine, the triumph of humanity in the face of our physical fragility, and gaping, wet vaginal monsters. The only thing more nauseating than the barrage of viscous facehugging was the use of AI to digitally revive Ian Holm.
Verdict: Definitely one improved by a full theater but 4DX added nothing: A.
Oddity (Damian Mc Carthy, in theaters and available VOD)
Oddity’s cold opening — a stranger knocks on a door to inform a young woman that he’s seen someone break into the remote country manor where she’s spending the night alone — is one of the more chilling pieces of horror I’ve seen, created just through Mc Carthy’s precise ability to imbue doubt and dread in both character and audience.
Verdict: Easily the scariest movie I saw this year, and I’m not just saying that because the director was kind enough to let me interview him: absolute A.
Janet Planet (Annie Baker, in theaters) and Dìdi (Sean Wang, in theaters)
The genre of “quasi-autobiographical-coming-of-age-with-a-single-parent” movie shows no sign of losing steam and/or Oscar eligibility. Janet Planet takes the edge for me, and not just because it’s one of the most Massachusetts movies since The Town (2010). Nowhere near as twee as the marketing would have you believe, it’s a delicate but funny debut from playwright Baker. Dìdi lags if only because my interest in maternal sacrifice as a backdrop has waned since I turned thirty. It’s sweet but uninspired, its influences always a little too apparent.
Verdict: Nice and cozy in the B-tier, great ones for home release.
Cuckoo (Tilman Singer in theaters) and Longlegs (Osgood Perkins, in theaters)
These two supernatural horror movies suffer from the same ails: an inability to pace the central mystery and a crushingly insipid lore-dump. Maika Monroe’s performance remains a standout for me, and I was similarly tickled by Dan Stevens as a flute wielding Bavarian weirdo with all the flair of a secondary Bond villain. Both movies have memorable little totems — Longlegs’ fourteenth day of the month, or Cuckoo’s chic head bandages — but a movie is more than Letterboxd-ready iconography.
Verdict: The eye roll-inducing hype around Longlegs has me feeling punitive but I’m fine putting both of these in the C-tier.
Kinds of Kindness (Yorgos Lanthimos, soon to be available on VOD)
Good to see Lanthimos isn’t resting on his laurels after Poor Things — the closest he’s come to a crowd-pleaser — did the Supermarket Sweep at the Oscars, but this playhouse repertory triptych is a punishingly dull way to spend an afternoon.
Verdict: D.
Maxxxine (Ti West), A Quiet Place: Day One (Michael Sarnoski), The Watchers (Ishana Night Shyamalan, all available on VOD)
I wrote about these movies already, and I remain astonished that they only get worse in my memory.
Verdict: the lowest pits of the D-tier.
The Definitive Ranking:
As always, make your voice heard in the comments, and let me know what I missed. Happy summer movie season! I’ll see you in September.
Trap rivals Furiosa within the S-tier in my personal ranking. Unlike Furiosa, I didn't see any trailers for Trap and went in completely blind, which only elevated the experience! (I had read this article before seeing the film, so I was anticipating the pie bit. It didn't disappoint!) I've enjoyed M. Night Shyamalan's films in the past but it was Old that converted me into a pro-M. Knight advocate. Knock at the Cabin and now Trap have furthered solidified that stance. The only quibble I have with Trap is that for a film set in Philadelphia they made a practically non-existent effort to disguise the fact that they filmed in downtown Toronto (in the first half specifically). In fact, until I saw the SWAT costumes and Philadelphia logos on the cop cars, I started to assume the setting within the film was supposed to be Toronto! It reminded me of when I watched Matthew Vaughn's Kick-Ass a decade ago and thought 'why not just cut out the middle man, and just rewrite the film to take place in Toronto?'
Kinds of Kindness, Cuckoo, Longlegs and especially MaXXXine would all rank higher on my tier list relative to yours. Granted MaXXXine benefited from lowered expectations; I already figured it wouldn't be on the same level as Pearl. Really enjoyed the scenes between Mia Goth and Elizabeth Debicki, but I especially loved Giancarlo Esposito's character and his hair styling. He was definitely underutilized. My friend made a point that Esposito came across as a surrogate father for Maxine, and that his character could've been set up as a definite foil to Maxine's biological father.
I'll echo what everyone else has said about Dan Steven's acting in Cuckoo (and your point about the potential of its out of time production design) but I also really enjoyed Hunter Schafer's as well. Same goes for Goth's and Maika Monroe's in their respective films. Apparently this was the summer of decent horror movies with really strong female leads (at least based on the ones I've personally seen, which doesn't include The Watchers, Oddity, the Quiet Place prequel or the new Alien sequel)!
I agree completely with your lovely assessment of the Monroe's performance. I feel the understated nature of it offered a nice balance/contrast to Nic Cage's character (which might've been intentional?).
One last silly remark in a very indulgent post; it is my firm belief that J.J. Abrams pissed blood when he saw Baby Yoda for the first time. And frankly, so did Rian Johnson.
cuckoo suckedddddd but would watch dan stevens as that bavarian flute-wielding weirdo for another hour anyway (just if we followed him around, not in the context of the film). a+ sunglasses in that movie tho!!!!!!!!