First: are you still dwelling on Taylor Swift’s Grammy appearance last weekend? Can I interest you in a FREE zine dissecting the many, many contradictions of the so-called tortured poet?
Award shows are boring not just because they reward the same types of things (stodgy biopics, racism tutorials) but because the categories themselves are dull. You expect me to get it up for “Best Supporting Actor – Series, Miniseries or Motion Picture Made for Television?” I am far more interested in comparing movies across hyper-specific minutiae than trying to determine which of five completely unrelated performances, scores, or sound mixes was superior.
Today, I fulfill a long-held desire to create my own award show. I’ve discarded not only the persnickety, easily-gamed categories but also the antiquated voting body. Because it’s you, dear reader, who is the voter. I encourage you to spend as much or as little time with each category as you please, and to voice your preferences and discontent in the comments.
Welcome to the 2024 Deeper Into Movies Awards! The categories are…
Most Issues with His Mother
Four strong contenders here. Napoleon’s mother finds him a mistress to impregnate, which is certainly icky but somewhat contextually justified by a culture based in hereditary inheritance. Similarly, Angus Tully’s neglectful mother might be said by some to be “doing her best” in a time with a relatively primitive understanding of mental health. Enzo Ferrari’s mother’s hackneyed proclamation that “the wrong son died” is an easy points-scorer but, for me, Ari Aster’s real-life mother, who has inspired two different crazy mom melodramas (Hereditary and this year’s Beau is Afraid), is the obvious frontrunner. Vote below!
Best Animal Actor
It’s a two-man race between Godzilla and Snoop, as far as I’m concerned. Despite my general distrust of dogs, I have to go for the only non-CG animal in the running. It helps that Messi’s performance as guide dog Snoop genuinely made me question what acting is. However, I didn’t see Wonka, so maybe the giraffe has a surprise edge I’m unaware of.
Most Underwritten Mistress
I looked up the character names before I realized nobody would remember who “Jean Tatlock” or “Lina Lardi” were. Apologies to the real-life women who probably never imagined that your dad’s favorite director would one day make a movie about a guy they slept with.
Best Dance Scene
Barry Keoghan’s pantsless moment makes for easy banter but as much as I enjoy some full-frontal trout, I can’t say that this scene (like any other scene in Saltburn) has much depth. Passages has the benefit of starring an actual dancer in Franz Rogowski, who beautifully embodies his character’s slipperiness. There is dance in all of Yorgos Lanthimos’s films, and the anticipation did not make me enjoy Emma Stone and Mark Ruffalo’s frippery in Poor Things any less. I’m glad Gen-Z gets their Black Swan moment with the sapphic tango between Thomasin McKenzie and Anne Hathaway in Eileen. Finally, can you believe I had Maestro here at first, which I have yet to finish? Barbie boasts two immaculate numbers, the disco-infused Dance the Night Away and the “somebody’s been watching Xanadu” I’m Just Ken dream ballet.
Most “Wait, This Came out in 2023?”
Turns out it was a long year because all of these films got a wide release in 2023 (though they might have premiered in 2022). Truly anyone’s game here.
What should win? Who was snubbed? Drop your thoughts in the comments and vote away!
Last question is legitimately unsettling. How long was 2023???
Aki Kaurismäki's own dog in Fallen Leaves snubbed 🐕🐕🐕